The draft looks good.
Storm and jararo can just work on their part of story and setup their large plot point to work to.
I think that in the next part about sir, raven and me we find that cave and let each other's character's get to know each other.
Should I post this? I mean, you're the only one who put a reaction, and I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I think I'll wait until 24 hours have passed.
Jararonatsu/Ragingstorm's post sounded ominous. Also, it seems that Ragingstorm is a lot older than Jararonatsu. Intentional?
Also, there may be some worldbuilding points that are pertinent to your post (and future posts).
1. Admin is creator figure.
2. Moderators are his creation, who judge the universe with the help of their scout minions, aka the editors.
3. Editors are humans who were powered up by the Moderators who found them worthy.
4. Each Editor is an aspect - like the Trickster is JN, the Warrior is Raventhor, and Ragingstorm sounds like something to do with science. The Scientist? The Firemind?
All4, sir and raven jumped trough the portal to escape the forest's deadly flora. the three hit the bottem of a cave floor and stood up dusting them self's off, sir gave them a light with one of his sorceries. what the **** was that! raven shouted at the 2. sir awensered well it seems like a undiscovered plant type that use's projectile's to defend it's self saw us as a thread and it tried to kill us to defend it's self.
raven looked like he wanted to hang the mage but he calmed down after a deep breath. while those 2 were trying to come to terms with what just happend the them, all4 was looking for a way out. he found a bunch of stick's on the floor and lighted one up with sir's flame. all4 walked around the cave to find an exit or a place to set up a camp or atleast to check if the cave was safe.
all4 knew there was away these tree brances came into the cave so there must have been away out but he couldn't find it, there was no light coming trough any craveses. damm all4 thought to him self it must be night out side, we won't get out of here untill in the morning.
all4 went back to his companion's and told them to set up a camp and that they were gonna need to stay here untill the morning.
they got a campfire set up and set down by it roasting a bit of meat. sir said: we left the juggler behind. all4 laughed and said: oh he will find away to escape that Co7 *****. raven asked how he whas so sure of that? because he want's to kill me. he made that quiet obvious to say the least.
yeah i was wondering why? sir said. have you two met each other before? I have no idea. maybe. i get a lot of people after me who want to kill for some random reason that probebly involved either me killing one of their loved one's or pinning a murder on them or pinning a murder on one of their loved one's. if you two hadn't figured it out by now i am the greatest assassin alive. well my clan was the best assassin clan of the country and i am the last of their kind so maybe im not the best but i defently have a large bounty on my head for alive or dead.
and then all4 proceeded to tell his back story to the 2. about his clan, the training from birth, the pilgrimage, the attack of the counsil, maria, harkon and then his depression.
after losing maria i went into a seveer depression. i could never do anything right but being a damm cutthroat, i couldn't protect my loved one's from the Co7, i couldn't protect maria. i can only be an assassin. it took me 2 year's of going trough every single sin the god's forboot and a lot of alcahol but i got out of it, i trained and i killed Harkon and what was left of Maria. in those six years of training i took up a lot of contract's from a lot of people but never one that could benifit the Co7 and alway's one that would slow down there business. but i alway's did my research on my victim's to see what they did for the Co7, if they were corrupt or just evil. if they weren't corrupt or just evil i would deem them innocent and i would leave them alive and i would worn them of who would try to get them killed.
maybe i killed someone close to the juggler i don't know nor do i care. and he is not important right now. we need to find the editor's and each of us has a reason for it. now? what are your reason's mage and what are your's warrior.
the two did their story and i finally got their name's.
sir does your boot serpent friend know any way we can find the editor's?
never forget dawngate and never forgive EA. Freia will hunt them for eternity.
Well the serpent is in my robes, she is too big to fit in a boot. So unless you snuck into my boot DJ I don't think its you. ;)
All4 that looks nice, although I would like it if you let someone do spellcheck before you put it on the main thread.
1. Firstly, one of things I must emphasize is that there is no clear "bad guy." You can't just turn the Council of Seven into the evil dudes without a good reason. What do you have against them, anyway?
They're the ruling body of the city. If they were that evil, why on earth would they stay in power?
2. Killing random people outside the law is generally a bad thing. Most people think the law is there for a good reason. If you kill a few people, and say, "Oh, they were the bad guys, it's okay," do you think people would believe you on your word?
3. Raventhor swears too much. He's supposed to be a millennium-old Editor who has seen some crazy ****. He isn't going to be surprised by every little thing.
4. Just saying "you did your research" isn't enough. If I bought a gun and shot someone on the street, and told you that I "did my research," that would certainly not be enough to convince the cops not to haul me to jail.
Even if they did turn out to be corrupt, going as far as killing them is wrong in many people's eyes. The lawmages exist for a reason, and part of that reason is prosecuting (and chasing and finding and investigating) criminals.
Honestly, if you are going to stick with the whole "Assassin" theme, then I need to warn you about the consequences:
Mainly, I started Thalia's character intending her killer to be an antagonist. But since you raised the possibility of yourself being the actual killer, Symon will not stop. Ever.
Secondly, if you really are "the greatest assassin in the world," people are going to find you and try to imprison or kill you. Unlike Assassin's Creed, people don't always thank you for killing someone, and not everyone who is EVIL has no family members or loved ones.
Let's say Thalia was evil. Even so, she still had people who cared about her. Ergo, these people are going to want payback.
This isn't just Thalia. This is almost everyone you have ever killed, unless you say that your character only killed the people without families and loved ones.
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