The Ultimate Backstory Thread.

Once upon a time, in a land called Ergnin, there was this one white boy who had lived through seven summers. This white boy tried to be friends with all the black hood boys, but they never really liked the one white boy. Some could call this racism, but it most certainly is misandry, which you can easily detect if you are expert socionom, like Janitsu.

This one white boy, who was back then called "Kalle", decided to leave Ergnin years later and never come back. Little did he know, this decision would change his life entirely. He left in the morning of 24th of December, day before Gabus Newest was born, and packed some essential items to help him conquer the world. He had condoms, firewood, his mom's sexual enjoyment toy, Harlequin-novel and food from Taco Clock.

He wandered in the woods of Peanut Enhanced Nickelback of Isolated Deers (funny name, some like it for its abbreviation) when he heard a tree fall. He was truly amazed and astonished when he learned that it wasn't a tree, but a very fat, HolyPudding, creature. This creature had fell because he has "big bones, type diabetes, bad genes" etc. (read: he was fat because he didn't really care about his health. His titties are bigger than mine)

HolyPudding offered his protection and food if Kalle gave him his condoms. Kalle had to think this through because he might have to repopulate the earth and they might become handy in that situation. He gave them a way, bit grudgingly.

Then he found Smotefore and decided to stay here and change his name to HammaSmite (some lame-*** name, if ya ask me) and play with his stupid friends.

DA FUQ? Call me Remy, you idiot, that's my name :/