My Rap Song "Ghost Man " Comment Please

If any of you still don't know I am a rapper (that sounds bad :)) I been writing/rapping for like 7 years maybe 8. I Now have studio monitors, more expensive headphones, decent microphone (studio ones cost over a grand **** THAT), and everything else.

The only thing I am really lacking is to treat my room with studio foam and I will be good. Oh and make sure I mix/master the songs right which can take hours to a full day or more.

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So I have wrote this song called "Ghost Man" a day ago.
I need feedback on the quality out of /10

- Note I did NOT make this perfect it was a test of quality to see what you guys would tell of the quality without me mixing too much. I spent only like an hour messing with EQ and other things you probably have no clue what I am saying :)

- I'm going to upload a video with my SECOND VERSE and my CHORUS.
If you pay attention to the verse you can hear words off beat on some parts because like I said I don't feel like spending hours mixing this because its just a quality test to see if you think the quality will be good enough.

- When I buy studio foam, ect I will record this song for real and mix it for hours to make it sound super good and put effects on it. For now I just want to know out of QUALITY can your ears tell a major difference.

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Tell if you hate it or like it, I'm not trying to make everyone like it I just need feedback on it so when I record it perfectly I know what I want to do with it. Also I need to know because I may buy the beat from the producer if I want it.

Here is the instrumental for "Ghost Man" the producer said I can buy the beat if I want it. MY VIDEO IS UPLOADING I WILL POST IT HERE WHEN ITS UPLOADED BUT HERE IS THE BEAT.

If you don't like it say so I can fix it, Also if you don't like rap I don't suggest you would like it or maybe you will because of the beat.
Play Video

LISTEN THROUGH HEADPHONES TO HEAR EVERYTHING

Here it is, I am taking this back down off youtube because I am going to rerecord it at a later date when I recieve the HQ instrumental + Add effects/mix/master.

Note : I started the video out on the SECOND VERSE right as the Chorus is going off heres the lyrics.

Verse Two :
My flow is Hypo-thermic get tubed up like Lypo Psycho, -
pathic yes I am so take your words back like you made a Typo.
Hope your insured with gieco, when you here my CD I'm so,
dope that you will wreck and die slow, so dope was the cause of I know;
that you know I know you know I don't give a **** thats fin-al,
you will get stripped down before your whip crashes and loses Vin-yal.
I'm talkin super simal-taniously **** happenin,
chit chattin an, whips crashin an, click clackin an **** cracken in;
Command of cliques clackin out, chicks blackin out, ***** backin out,
ain't what we do so quit act-in out, if ya C.O.T we'll release the cracken out
You'll be wearin the same shirts you know the ones with the picture on,
get the picture son? When that R.I.P is on, all I know is that ***** is gonnnnee!

Chorus :(what)
I don't understand, Is wheres my 100 grand,
I need a-bouta Hand, Unleashin Rubb-a-Bands.
I'm blowing out the Grams, got guns that never jam,
ya girl be on my damn, the world at my command.
I ride through Ghost Land, rock-in the Most Bland,
I need that Toast Man, My Fo will Go Blam.
Out up in Ghost Land, they call you Ghost Man,
cuz you's a Ghost Man, they call him Go Go Ghost Man.

If you pay attention you will notice some words are off because I didn't feel like doing a full mix, but the end chorus I mixed more smooth as you can hear everything is more on point. This is just like a rough draft of what I can mix probably like 60/100% mixed.

Don't mind my ghetto camera quality because my HD one broke. Make sure to listen on highest settings.
Play Video

The song itself is very good. I commend you David. However, the lyrics seem a bit strange to me. I saw the Poseidon reference, but that's about all that made sense to me. Maybe it's because I don't know the rap genre well, not sure.

Overall, pretty good. I'd say... 7.8/10

Ya in rap people make confusing lines, well the non mainstream rappers BESIDES EMINEM. Rappers like lloyd banks, cassidy, ect make more confusing bars that will take you 20 years to understand. Then you come back and say oh that lil bastard I get what he just said :) Thats the best part when I listen to rap songs, I just listen to it to here how creative they set up lines. In other Genres all you do is say easy stuff like baby baby baby aka JUSTIN BEIBER!!!

No its because I like to be a **** and make confusing lines.

I said : If your C.O.T we'll release the cracken out.

If yous say C.O.T it sounds like CAUGHT

C.O.T is also the initails to movie "Clash of the Titans" where they scream "Release that kracken!"

So by decoding my stupid bar it basically says

If your (CAUGHT)(Clash of the titans) we'll release the Cracken(Kracken out)

Just disregaurd that Bar. I was actually going to take that bar out because its too hard to say because it can barely fit you have to say it so fast.

But I wish I had the first verse up because the second verse only a few good bars in the begg of the verse. My first verse had insane bars.

Like I had a bar that said "It ain't the ancient tribe when you see my big *** tec"
*** tec (Azteck) or however its spelled.

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Also my internet must be messed up because that video won't load up right when I click on it. Also IF I BUY THE BEAT the producer will give me the HIGH QUALITY WAVE FILE OF IT. Wave files are much more high quality and I didn't take the time to align all my voices perfect - It would literally take a full day record a 100% perfect song. Screw dat ****! :) I'ma just pay a producer to mix my stuff.

I'll explain my thought process


-My flow is hypothermic =(COLD)
- get tubed up like lypo = (they tube you up when you get lypo they suck yo fat off)
- take your words back like you made a typo = (please tell me you at least got that one : )
- Hope your insured with geico = I siad this because it leads up to what I am saying after that
- I'm so dope that you will wreck and die slow SO DOPE WAS THE CAUSE OF I KNOW.
I am basically saying I am DOPE and DOPE is what caused you to wreck because everyone knows that DOPE causes you too wreck. I am suppose to have a background voice saying (I KNOW) which basically cuts me off from telling you why they wrecked, the background voice is telling me (I KNOW!!!!)

- You will get stripped down before your whip crashes and loses vinyal = you will get robbed before that happens (if you can imagine someone in your car robbing you I am saying you will get robbed that fast and the crashing goes with what I said about crashing earlier about dope)

- I'm talkin super simaltaniouly = Simaltanious means to do multiple things at once, as I explain in the song those simaltanious things are , chit chattin (when getting robbed), whips crashin (while in the process of that) click clackin (from being robbed) **** cracken (the sound of the gun) then I say "IN" so I can follow up with

- Command of cliques clacking out (crew with guns given orders)
- chicks blackin out, ***** back out (should be obvious saying when do back out because I say)
- ain't what we do so keep actin out (I'm saying we don't back out so quit acting out)

- You'll be wearing those same shirts with the pictures on (the RIP SHIRTS)
- Get the picture son? (I said that to be funny because you will GET THE PICTURE literally as in you will get the picture on your shirt)


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This is why I like rap over any other genre, lyrics are complex and with rock, metal, pop, jazz lyrics are just eazy peazy lines you come up with. For example nobody noticed I rhymed 2 words in each sentence at the VERY LEAST. Most people only rhyme one.

Well that is my thought process and how I think.

while I generally don't like rap I found this one to be quite good :)
on another note you should really consider changing your profile picture since to me you look very different on the vid

Ya I find it annoying trying to make a accurate picture of what I look like :) I would say I look like what I look like in the video mostly but if you catch me at a weird angle I sometimes think "wow that doesn't look like me" Well I have facebook pictures but they all look like a different version of myself.

For 15 minutes of messing with it I just made sure its not 100% garbage its more like 50% garabge :) (in terms of it being up to pro sounding standards) If I spent like a full day I could get it sounding near cripsy clear but then I would still need a pro to make the sound sound better with the raising the volumes ect.

Also I STOLE that beat, that is why you hear it saying (SuperStaar) in the background. I need to buy it to get a higher quality version of it without that annoying voice.

I don't hate metal/rock I will listen to songs like stricken, ect.
I like to listen to songs that either

A: make me get hype in side
B: make me think I am the VEG
C: A song that has that "Move out the way" vibe

I will listen to songs like that , but COUNTRY HELL NO.

Love the Poseidon reference. Here in LA I see a ton of black and white people try to rap but they fall in comparison. Good job man

"What's the meaning of Rap when your old and fat? I find your words like my cat, full of mayonnaise on my lap. Word by word I hear them fine. But all I can say is. Dam I like lime!"

That Randomly just popped up in my head lol. I like rap as long as it doesn't make sense or has a really bad meaning. I understood this very well and the music was just right. Like it was made for the words. I say great job!